1 Nephi 20

Isaiah is really hard for me to understand, still. I am grateful that Nephi thought he was weak in writing because it was so simple and direct. What he thought was a weakness is such a blessing to me.

That being said, this was a neat chapter. I love where the Lord says He tells us everything ahead of time so we’ll know it’s Him doing it. He knows our doubts and stubbornness, and provides a way for us to believe as easily as possible.

I also was moved by verse 18 where He tells us if we keep the commandments our peace will be as a river and our righteousness as the waves of the sea. I need to keep the commandments more carefully, because those truly are the dearest wishes of my heart.

I don’t understand what He means about how He is doing it for His own sake. It sound selfish, but I know God is not that. So what does it mean?

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July 11, 2012 - I get it now. It's a parenting kind of love, when you want everything for your children, and nothing more than their happiness and righteousness. And that is what YOU want more than anything. I totally get it now.

1 Nephi 19

I found it touching as I read that what Nephi is recording are the sacred experiences of his life for his children. What a beautiful and private and sacred thing we are privileged to read when we read the Book of Mormon. I also feel inspired to be more diligent in recording the sacred events of my life for my family.

As Nephi described the suffering of God, and how He suffered it because of his kindness, I feel humbled. How often do I feel I do “deserve” things that happen to me, or my kids or husband should show more respect, and then get angry. That is not the pattern of the Savior. And He was the great God of the universe suffering unjustly at the hands of his creations. Who am I to complain or be angry?

1 Nephi 18

When the Liahona stopped working Laman and Lemuel didn’t immediately free Nephi, even though they knew very well they were without the Lord’s direction. Like me taking so many days to repent and get back to scripture reading even though I can feel the difference when I don’t. Sometimes I say at least I finally did repent, but then again, so did they. I need to stop procrastinating.

I am amazed at how hard their hearts were. Thinking of their baby brothers, and Nephi’s children crying for mercy for their father… and being unmoved, it sounds heart breaking. What a good example Nephi was in not complaining again.

1 Nephi 17

He talks about how great the Lord’s blessings were that while they were living on raw meat in the wilderness their women had enough milk to nurse. That statement alone takes a lot of faith. I think it would be hard, without that faith, to recognize that blessing, rather than just seeing the affliction of living on raw meat and having babies in the wilderness. And Nephi even says how great the blessings were. What are my blessings that I am missing in the complaining?

Another demonstration of Nephi’s faith was when the Lord told him to build the ship, he never said, “I don’t know how,” but right away asked where to find the material to make the tools. He just knew that if the Lord to him to do it, he could do it. And there is that getting to work without complaining again.

The Lord had not let them make fire up to this point, and provided light for them and took care of their raw meat. He said as long as they kept the commandments He would lead them to the promised land. It’s now been eight years, and they are being led. Was that eight years of an obedient Laman and Lemuel? What is their downfall, when they were so close, so many times? It seems like they never learned to pray about things and/or feel the Spirit to know what was true. I guess you can be technically obedient without really progressing spiritually. I’ve been there.

Laman and Lemuel’s argument starts with their poor wives, who have suffered so much, being pregnant and having babies in the wilderness. I think Nephi included this for two possible reasons. One is he loved his brothers and wanted to show their goodness, even if they were wrong. Part of what they were angry about was the suffering (point to me, medical suffering) of their wives. So even though God had told them to go into the wilderness, they didn’t have enough faith to trust Him still, especially through the trials of those they loved. So for me, don’t I know that the Lord led us to Ridgecrest? Does that change because there are crummy doctors here? I need to be like Nephi and not complain, but just do something about it and trust the Lord that He knows what He’s doing it. With an eternal perspective, not just a, what makes my life easy right now, perspective.

I know the story, but the Lord straightening the Israelites out by sending the firey flying serpents and a way to be healed, strikes me today. I know our afflictions are often to help us grow, or lead us back to Him. It’s much easier to see that from a historical perspective if you are not asking Him to help you see His perspective all through a trial. Coming to Him, and humbling yourself before Him, really is the answer to everything.

1 Nephi 16

I always love when I read that Nephi says he was exceedingly blessed of the Lord when talking about his wife. He was trying to be brief, and only include those things of most worth in spiritual matters. But he included that he loved his wife. 

In verse 16 Nephi says they followed the directions of the ball which led them in the most fertile parts of the wilderness.  Not only did they do what the Lord commanded, but they did it His way, and that made it all work. In order to see what the ball said, they had to keep looking at it, they couldn’t just keep going on. It feels like that’s what I end up doing a lot. I know what the right direction is, and then I just try and go do it myself. I need to keep, and constantly, turning to the Lord for His direction. Like in parenting, and wifeing and Visiting Teaching, and choir. I need to learn to rely on Him more and then I’ll be in the most fertile parts of the wilderness instead of feeling like I’m wandering in the desert.

It’s interesting that Laman and Lemuel were mad at Nephi for breaking his bow because they got no food. Was his the only bow? I think probably not, but it’s so easy to focus on one thing and blame it, when things go wrong. And it’s usually not myself!

Why did Nephi go to Lehi to know where to hunt for food instead of going straight the Lord himself?

 I think it’s important that Nephi didn’t sit around complaining, he never complained. And in this case, he went and did something about it, without doubting or getting angry. What amazing faith!

1 Nephi 15

When Nephi talks about how his brethren didn’t go to the Lord when they didn’t understand, but instead argued over it (using the wisdom of men) it reminded me of Sunday School when they argue over the doctrine. It’s something to remember when I am a teacher faced with those situations.

I’m grateful that he had the opportunity to teach his brethren, though they didn’t enquire of the Lord, because it is part of what makes the things of the Book of Mormon so plain and precious. It’s just laid out for you.