Alma 9

When Alma is giving the wicked people his evidences of God it makes me think of The God Who Weeps and how it talks about how you can argue for or against God reasonably, making it more fully a choice to believe. I wonder how powerful, to an unbeliever, the unembarrassed testimony of a believer is. Does the courage of standing up and declaring that you believe make it possible for some people to see that it is also a reasonable choice, to take away the stigma of foolishness?

When Alma talks about how the Lord is merciful with the Lamenites because their sins are due to the traditions of their fathers, it makes me more sure in my belief that we can’t judge each other because we are all working with different parameters, and those parameters matter to the Lord. I am grateful that is what the Lord teaches, it seems so much more fair and loving. I am grateful that the God I love and worship is a merciful and loving God.

When Alma is telling the people about all the great blessings they have received from God as a people, I can see such a strong parallel with membership in the Church, and our history and living reality. I am grateful for the reminder of how amazing these blessings are. Sometimes I forget how amazing it all is because it is how it has always been.  But we have been delivered by the hand of God, conversed with angles, seen mighty miracles, and are blessed to be led by an actual prophet of God. Truly it is amazing!

The people were angry with Alma because he told them they were sinners. It’s hard to know when it is the right thing to do, because it does upset people. But in order to call people to repentance you do have to tell them about their sins. I guess the important part is staying in tune with the Spirit and doing it only when it is your responsibility to do so.

I am struck by how brave Amulek was. He had heard Alma preach, and see the people’s angry reaction, wanting to throw Alma in prison. And even so, then he stood up and began to preach. I have felt the bravery that comes, or more like strength and fearlessness, when you are filled with the love of God. He must have been such an amazing man!

Alma 9

Alma 8

I love that it says Alma returned to his own house to rest. Sometimes it is hard for me not to feel guilty for needing to rest. I feel like I should always be doing something, there is always more that could or needs to be done. But rest matters

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It is interesting the behavior of the wicked people in Ammonihah. They used the “you’re not the boss of me” argument to not listen, as though he was trying to force them to believe and all the time they were plotting to take away other people’s agency. It feels really common in modern experience for people to say that preaching to them is trying to take away their agency, while not wanting to allow people to believe differently that they do. Has Satan really gotten trickier, or do we just never learn from his tricks?

I love that Alma was humble enough to return when asked to, even though the people had treated him so poorly, and as he says to Amulek, he had set his back towards them forever. I know that feeling of wanting to be done with people and hurtful situations. I want to follow Alma’s example and just say, “I’ll go where You want me to go.”

I wonder why he tarried many days with Amulek before returning to preaching. Was it a time of rest? Or was the Lord giving Amulek a lot of time to learn from and feel the power and spirit of a prophet before asking him to go and preach and sacrifice so much? Again, I appreciate the tender mercies of the Lord not asking anyone to run faster than they are able. And I think that is an important thing to think about before we ask people to serve—making sure they are nourished and ready.

Alma 8

Alma 7

Alma talks about how when Christ comes he suffers pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind to take upon himself the pain and sickness of his people. When I need access to the atonement for repentance I know how that works. I have learned the steps and understand the cleansing. I am not sure how to participate in the atonement when it isn’t repentance but other spiritual and physical pain. I know the Lord can, if it be right and according to His will, take those pains from me, but I don’t know how that works. Do I just ask? Or does it come different ways, like through answered prayers, and prayers I don’t even know to pray, through priesthood blessings, or is that how we heal just through the passage of time or with the help of other people. Is the atonement always what makes emotional healing possible whether we realize that or not?

He knows how to succor me. Most of my pain is fear, taking me away from faith. He tells me, as I ponder this, that if I just keep my eyes on him I will be okay and conquer the fear. That is what I am going to try to do as I walk this stormy sea, is keep my eyes on him, press forward with faith, and now that He will catch me when I fear and fall. Because he loves me.

He felt my fear and my hurt and my pain. He knows exactly what it is. And when I don’t know why or how to name what is happening, I know that he has felt my bewilderment and completely understands it, but knows the answers, too. I just have to rely on Him.

When Alma entreats the people to be humble and submissive and gentle and long-suffering, I know those are the things I struggle with. And even as I read it, I feel my pride rebel against it. I am grateful the Lord, in His infinite patience, reminds me over and over again that I need to conquer my pride, and conquer myself.

Alma 7