Alma 28

When the Nephites gave their land to the people of Ammon they immediately were attacked by the Lamenites, and, although they won, suffered huge losses. Yet in their great mourning, they didn’t become angry at the Ammonites. I am again so impressed with their humility and faith. And in their doing the right thing, not for outcomes but for righteousness sake. It is also a sign of their faith that there time of sorrow was a time of fasting and prayer. I think they were able to not be angry because they turned to God in their troubles, instead of away from Him.

Mormon says here that he inequality of man is because of sin and transgression. What he was focusing on, though, was not what we usually look at in terms of inequality, but in peace in trials. The inequality of those who had lost loved ones that mourned that they were lost forever, compared to those who lost loved ones and missed them, but looked forward with hope. I still get so worked up. Especially in the last few days, not reading scriptures, it has been so easy to turn away from my goal of never getting angry. I am still doing better than I was before, but it gets harder the longer I go without giving the Lord this time to talk to me.

At school right now the administration is making changes that I feel are really detrimental to the kids at the school. My instinct is always to get angry and fight. How do I affect change without fighting? Or fight without anger, maybe? How do I hold on to that peace in my heart when things are not right? I guess the answer in the same, trust the Lord in the long game, do what you can and then move forward with faith that all will be well. It is that trust in Him that brings peace.

Alma 28

Alma 27

The people of the Amalekites got angry about their loss, which loss was a consequence of their sin in the first place. I guess that is sometimes what makes it hard to kick against the pricks. I feel like it is a good way to check myself spiritually—whether or not I am angry about life, and angry about consequences of my choices. My prayer is still to never be angry, to bury my weapons and not take them up again.

When the people of Ammon first refused to fight, the Lamenites stopped trying to kill them, and I am sure they believed it was a blessing from God for their willingness to keep that covenant. It would have been hard, when the Lamenites came back, to still keep having faith in the face of that disappointment. It shows that their obedience wasn’t about a deal with God—it was just true humble obedience, and it didn’t depend on what happened. Their hearts really were changed. When I try to be more obedient, is it because I am hoping for an outcome, or am I just giving my will to God?

It is interesting to me that the king wanted to go be slaves to the Lamenites to make up for all the past wrong doing. Sometimes when people join the church, or change their lives, but don’t completely understand all the pieces, it is so easy to judge, or feel superior. And yet if you look at the whole picture they are truly converted, but still learning. It is important to remember that none of us our perfect, it is the trying and the staying in the covenant that matters. It is so easy to judge each other.

For some reason Ammon passing out with joy all the time makes me laugh. He really knew how to lean into those feelings and not hold anything back. It would be really difficult for me to get to that point.

I have always been impressed with the Nephites being willing to give up the last Jershon to the people of Ammon. It would be really hard for me, I think for any of us, to walk away from our property and give it to someone else, because we think of it as ours and not the Lord’s that we have stewardship over. This gives me a glimpse into the law of consecration and how beautiful that could really be. I feel like I have a long way to go to be so unselfish. I want to be like this. I pray that the Lord will help me remember in the moments where I have the choice to be selfish or not, who I really want to be in the end.

In context of a war that is not your own, I think there are a couple of important points here. The Nephites were helping people who wanted their help, and had asked for it, and the people who they were helping to defend themselves helped as much as they could by supporting the army. American politics are so complicated, but I feel like if those two things were part of our compassionate war philosophy it would go a long way to improving the outcomes.

“…and they never did look upon death with any degree of terror, for their hope and views of Christ and the resurrection; therefore, death was swallowed up to them by the victory of Christ over it.”  That is how faith casts out fear. And really, even to everything bad that others can do to you in life, I don’t have to fear it, I can let it be swallowed up by the victory of Christ over it, because he has truly overcome all things. I can just trust him and move forward.

Alma 27

Alma 26

There are all kinds of excitement and happiness in the world. Lots of things make us feel that way. But it is a testimony of God’s reality that there really is no joy that compares to doing good, to helping Him accomplish His work. God really does want us to become like Him so that we can have the joy that He does—and that joy comes from working on and loving the things He does.

I love how the gospel changes everything. How the converted Lamenites were the people who Ammon and his brethren loved so much, and they loved them back. And yet, without the gospel they were enemies. If we had more faith, would our political enemies become beloved friends by the preaching of the gospel? I suppose, the Lamenites and Nephites had been at war for so many years at this point, it had to be at the right time with the right people to work. When I think about my sons going on missions in a few years, and how that could be the right time for missions in enemy territory, I pray to have the faith to trust them to the Lord. I know they are His, and I know faith is the opposite of fear. But, oh, how I struggle with fear.

I love the phrase “matchless bounty of his love.”

It also speaks to me when Ammon is talking about the amazing mercy of the Lord, when they had been taught the truth, and fought against it, yet he was merciful anyway. That is how I feel about mistakes of years past, and mistakes of today. I am so grateful for the atonement, and the ability to repent and start again—to change and grow instead of being lost forever in our mistakes. I am so dependent on His mercy, and grateful for his unending love and patience. Who am I to not forgive, or to get angry, when I, in every moment rely on his patience and forgiveness? I feel his sorrow when I sin, and I am so sorry for the pain I cause him, and grateful for the love he extends anyway, never wavering.

I am in awe of the love these missionaries had for the Lord, that they demonstrated by what they were willing to suffer and keep working. I really need to work on the enduring aspect of obedience. Of life, really.

I wonder how Ammon was speaking through all this. Was he jumping around and gesticulating, or speaking through his tears? You can really feel the joy in what he wrote, or said—I wonder what it looked like in his personality.

Alma 26

Alma 25

More about anger in this chapter. The Lamenites couldn’t handle killing the people not fighting back, so they turned their anger to the Nephites instead. Why does anger work that way? It’s like a fire that keeps looking for fuel. So often who I lash out isn’t even who I am angry at originally. And it is so hard to stop being worked up once you let yourself get there. You feel like you have to find an outlet, someone to take it out on. When I think about it, I am so aware of the inherent evil in anger.

The wicked Nephite dissenters then start killing Lamenites who are converting. It seems like a good test for the righteousness of a cause—or at least for the righteousness of your feelings about something. When you can’t handle people not agreeing with you, when you want to take away people’s right to choose, and when you are making decision that are angry and violent, it is a good sign you are not in the right place. I think so many times Satan can trick us into believing we are doing good by doing bad, but those feelings never come from God. It is a good litmus test.

It was a long time from the time Abinidi made his prophecies until they were fulfilled. Long enough that if you were not looking for it, you wouldn’t remember that was what was happening. It’s another reason it is important to have continuing revelation, both personal, and through prophets. Life is tricky and to discern the truth, especially over a long period of time, which often seems to be God’s timetable, you have to have a longer, eternal, God-like view.

It strikes me as an important point of true conversion that as soon as the people who were trying to kill them repented and stopped, they were welcomed into the land of Ishmael, and among the people of the church they were just trying to kill. It takes a lot of faith and love to so readily forgive so completely.

Part of the strength of their faith was remembering the meaning and symbolism of the ordinances, using them to point to Christ and always remember Him. It is the same now. If we just keep the commandments and do the “church stuff, ” even including obedience, without remembering it all points to him, we lose that strength that comes from the church. It isn’t the Law of Moses for us anymore, but the concept is the same. It is also the same that the ordinances and the obedience and all the details don’t save us, only Christ does. It is important to remember the difference. What can I do to better remember, instead of just getting into habits and doing things without really thinking about what I am doing, or how they are pointing to Him? I am so grateful for this little bit of understanding. I’ve always smugly though the Law of Moses parts of these chapters don’t apply to us today, but I can see so clearly now how much they really do. These verses suddenly feel so important, and I am so  grateful!

When I think about the joy of those missionaries to the Lamenites must have had in changing the course of an entire nation, and really the history of the world, I feel so happy for them, in a heart swelling choked up kind of way.

Alma 25

Alma 24

How had the people’s conversion been so complete that they were not even willing to be violent to defend themselves. I have just been sitting here thinking about how selfish my anger always is. How do I convert, or change, the way these people did, and in such a short amount of time! As I read the king’s words to his people, I feel like the answer is gratitude. He really understood, and always remembered how merciful God was in forgiving them, and teaching them the gospel and helping them to change. What did he do to keep these things so real to him, and so close to his heart? Was it how hard they had to work to repent? It wasn’t a half hearted affair—he said it was all they could do. Is that my attitude about repenting for my anger?

The comparison seems like, sometimes I think it is justified to get angry—like it is an okay response in certain situations. Burying my sword would be never reacting with anger, no matter what happens. Just like it would be justified for the Anti-Nephi-Lehis to defend themselves, but they buried the weapons because they did not want to go back to what they had worked so hard to overcome. I have to just never respond with anger, even in a circumstance when it would be okay or reasonable for another person to do it. And in order to make that change, it really would be all I can do, and would require me constantly remembering God and pleading for His help. Until, with his help, I was changed and it wasn’t a constant struggle—but part of who I am. That is what really repenting of my anger would look like. 

Alma 24