How had the people’s conversion been so complete that they
were not even willing to be violent to defend themselves. I have just been
sitting here thinking about how selfish my anger always is. How do I convert,
or change, the way these people did, and in such a short amount of time! As I
read the king’s words to his people, I feel like the answer is gratitude. He
really understood, and always remembered how merciful God was in forgiving
them, and teaching them the gospel and helping them to change. What did he do
to keep these things so real to him, and so close to his heart? Was it how hard
they had to work to repent? It wasn’t a half hearted affair—he said it was all
they could do. Is that my attitude about repenting for my anger?
The comparison seems like, sometimes I think it is justified
to get angry—like it is an okay response in certain situations. Burying my sword
would be never reacting with anger, no matter what happens. Just like it would be
justified for the Anti-Nephi-Lehis to defend themselves, but they buried the weapons
because they did not want to go back to what they had worked so hard to overcome.
I have to just never respond with anger, even in a circumstance when it would be
okay or reasonable for another person to do it. And in order to make that change,
it really would be all I can do, and would require me constantly remembering God
and pleading for His help. Until, with his help, I was changed and it wasn’t a constant
struggle—but part of who I am. That is what really repenting of my anger would look
like.
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