The beginning of this chapter is a good example of how God
loving us is sometimes allowing us to suffer. Because the people were having
such a hard time, they were humbled and turned to Him again. Trials seem so
overwhelming and horrible when they are happening, and don’t feel like love.
But God is worrying about who we will become eternally, like when we put our
kids in timeout to try and teach them. The wonderful thing about being perfect
is He knows exactly what to do that will best reach us. That’s the hard part
for me as a parent. I guess that is why it is so important to partner with Him
in this, and try to rely on the Spirit more. Sometimes I get so distracted and
so frustrated that I forget to stop and listen. If I can just calm down, slow
down, and parent with more purpose instead of just trying to control everything
all the time, it would give the Spirit, and by extension, Heavenly Father, more
of an opportunity to help when I need it.
I can also see how our trials lately have been a blessing.
As this move from Ridgecrest has been so difficult, both Omar and I have had to
learn again that we do have testimonies, and that God is involved in our lives
and loves us. But I think the difficulty make it that much stronger in the end.
We’ve both gotten to a place where we cannot deny. Everything still feels so
hard and fragile, I hope this wasn’t all just to prepare us for something
harder coming. It feels like we both need a time of peace. But I guess that is
part of trusting the Lord’s parenting; He knows best.
If the Book of Mormon is a warning for our day, it seems
like it is important that the Church became prideful over and over again right
before they got wicked. The problem was worrying about worldly things, trying to
get rich, treating each other unkindly, and thinking they were better than those
who were not in the church. I don’t think I am very worried about riches, although
I just may not realize it, but I do have a hard time being nice to everyone all
that time. I think about the Zion people with one heart and one mind and I know
I am not there. I can be really negative and critical. And as for the pride compared
to those who don’t belong to the church, I can see that more in how I feel about
people who don’t understand everything from an eternal perspective and how when
I’m affected by it I can feel bitter and angry and want to fight. I know that is
not the Lord’s way. It is not what Christ ever did when He was here, and not what
he asked us to do. The turn the other cheek idea is very difficult for me. I guess
in both cases when I am feeling critical of people I need to remember to check my
pride. This is apparently very difficult for me.
The Book of Mormon talks a lot about not turning our back on
the needy. There is so much neediness around me, so many people begging, and I see
the homeless camps. I just don’t know how to handle it. I don’t want to turn my
back on the needy, but I also have no idea how to help. I feel worried about this
a lot.
When Alma gave up the judgment seat to Nephiha it is a good example
of what we keep hearing about at general conference with the good better best. He
was doing wonderful things and helping people, but it wasn’t his “best” use of his
life and time. This is something important to think about in my own life. It seems
like an easy thing to get tricked about.
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