Alma 35:8-9

What made the people of Ammon so generous and brave? When the leader of the Zoramites was threatening them for taking care of the people they had cast out (which, seriously, why did he care?) it would have been so easy for them to justify their family’s safety as a reason to not get involved. But they weren’t afraid. And they took care of them, and fed them and gave them homes. This is hard for me to do when I see want around me, because I am afraid. I am afraid of crazy people and afraid of not having enough for my family.

One time in Relief Society someone had a quote about never being worse off because of generosity. But then there is the idea of all things being done in order. Sometimes I don’t know how to reconcile it all. I guess it goes back to Elder Holland’s conference talk about praying to know, individually, what we are supposed to do. That is the advice I give others all the time, but somehow it is hard in my own life.

As I think about what made the Ammonites so brave and so generous, I think it was their familiarity with the atonement. They had sacrificed a lot to believe, but they really believed, and lived that hope and faith. You couldn’t be a fence sitter and kneel to be slaughtered rather than fight. I want that kind of faith, and I am afraid of letting go of my pride and doubt enough to have that kind of faith. But I know, it is the little choices, like reading scriptures and taking time to ponder these things that, slowly, over a long time, have changed me, and will keep changing me.

Alma 35:8-9