Friday, March 4, 2016

Alma 58:30-41

The Nephite armies were too small to maintain the lands which they had retaken from the Lamenites, but they weren’t afraid because they trusted God. Not being afraid is a good constant reminder for my anxiety.
Why didn’t the men who had come to strengthen the army know what was going on with the rebellion in Zarahemla? I have always wondered about that.
This is such a letter written by a prophet. He had so many things to worry about, and to complain about and accuse about, but it wasn’t that way at all. It reminds me of this talk by President Hinkley, Slow to Anger, that I read this morning. When I couldn’t sleep last night, not being angry and frustrated what something that I felt impressed about a lot as I read Camilla Kimball’s biography in the middle of the night. It has been on my mind for a long time, but especially lately. I am anxious and impatient, and want to find some parenting solution that fixes problems immediately. I need to just keep doing the right thing and trust the Lord and His eventuality. I need to not be afraid, and not be impatient and angry.

I love that the Ammonite boys were “strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day.” I don’t think I am strict enough with myself, and let days go by without scripture reading and teaching my children. I need to be more consistent. The other day I was thinking about how they have their agency, and no matter what I teach them they may choose wickedness in the end. It broke my heart and I had the thought that I would be willing to do anything and everything to protect them from that unhappiness. And then the prompting came that I wasn’t do everything, and we needed to more faithfully read scriptures and take their spiritual preparation more seriously.  And yet, last night came late again, and I didn’t make us read scriptures. What am I so afraid of?

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