The Nephite
armies were too small to maintain the lands which they had retaken from the
Lamenites, but they weren’t afraid because they trusted God. Not being afraid
is a good constant reminder for my anxiety.
Why didn’t the
men who had come to strengthen the army know what was going on with the
rebellion in Zarahemla? I have always wondered about that.
This is such a
letter written by a prophet. He had so many things to worry about, and to
complain about and accuse about, but it wasn’t that way at all. It reminds me
of this talk by President Hinkley, Slow
to Anger, that I read this morning. When I couldn’t sleep last night, not
being angry and frustrated what something that I felt impressed about a lot as
I read Camilla Kimball’s biography in the middle of the night. It has been on
my mind for a long time, but especially lately. I am anxious and impatient, and
want to find some parenting solution that fixes problems immediately. I need to
just keep doing the right thing and trust the Lord and His eventuality. I need
to not be afraid, and not be impatient and angry.
I love that the
Ammonite boys were “strict to remember the Lord their God from day to day.” I
don’t think I am strict enough with myself, and let days go by without
scripture reading and teaching my children. I need to be more consistent. The
other day I was thinking about how they have their agency, and no matter what I
teach them they may choose wickedness in the end. It broke my heart and I had
the thought that I would be willing to do anything and everything to protect
them from that unhappiness. And then the prompting came that I wasn’t do
everything, and we needed to more faithfully read scriptures and take their
spiritual preparation more seriously. And yet, last night came late again, and I
didn’t make us read scriptures. What am I so afraid of?
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