It is interesting
to me that when Helaman was describing these boys that he had led and loved he
didn’t call them Lamanites, but took them time to describe them as descendants
of Laman, the eldest son of our father Lehi. At this point the Lamenites were
enemies, and calling them that would have meant something different. Because he
loved them he wasn’t lumping them into a despised cultural group. It makes me
wonder if using those types of descriptions to describe people, Mexican, Asian,
or whatever, can ever by loving, or if it is always lazy and a laced with
prejudice.
I am always
amazed at Helaman’s faith that the Lord with strengthen them because they kept
their covenants. He believed in that they would be temporally better off by
keeping those spiritual promises, even though from a worldly perspective it
made no sense. Faith doesn’t have to make sense because our vision of what is
right or possible is so limited compared to God’s. I need to learn to better
trust his expansive vision. Why is trust, even of God, so difficult for me?
Helaman’s
consolation over the men lost to war, that they died in the cause of their
country and their God and are happy, feels very timely today. Bruce Bowling’s
death makes me very sad, and I know it is a million times harder for his
family. But if ever there was a way to die in the service of your God, it is
surely doing things to prepare to serve another mission. And I know he is
happy. He was always happy, but he is now full of joy. The human capacity to
feel joy and peace and sorrow and so many feelings at the same time is amazing.
The depth of human experience is complicated and convoluted. How can we ever
judge another’s intentions or feelings when our own so often seem unknowable?
The 2000 warriors
would have been a blessing even if they never fought, just because the
exhausted men were not attacked by the Lamenties who feared their arrival. The
army they came to strengthen was depressed and ready to make their last futile
stand, and their arrival afforded them a reprieve, and gave them a chance to
gather courage, strength, and hope. Sometimes I hesitate to serve, because I am
not sure what I could really offer in some circumstances. But perhaps it is
just the strength in numbers that is needed sometimes. Maybe just being there
is enough.
I love that
Helaman recognizes the hand of the Lord gratefully is the things that happen.
That is a great question in my mind, how much and why does the Lord interfere
in the affairs of men. How much of what happens is just the result of a fallen
world and use of agency?
It had to have
taken so much courage for them to march out and bait the strongest army of the
Lamenites. I can’t even imagine. So much faith!
The thought of
Antipus and his men hurrying behind the Lamenites trying to save the young men,
makes me want to cry today. I can imagine their exhaustion, but the need to
protect the youth and not let them down driving them onward. It is a feeling I recognize
in the adults around the youth and children I am exposed to every day. I am
always so moved when they catch the Lamenties and stop their pursuit of Helaman’s
boys. And their great slaughter breaks my heart. I know that Helaman and his
stripling warriors were heros here, especially when the vote to turn and fight,
but Antipus and his men and their sacrifice truly touch me, and inspire me love
bigger and bolder.
The scripture
about how their mother’s had taught them that if they did not doubt God would
deliver them always give me cause to pause and reflect. Could I teach my sons
that? Eternally, yes, but I don’t know about here on earth. So many good men
die in war. Had the mothers received special confirmation that this was so? Or
is my faith just so severely lacking that this should be an obvious truth that
he would protect them, but I just don’t see? I think it must have been specific
revelation. Because even in this war good men died serving God. Helaman had
just written that very thing to Moroni. Maybe the lesson is more about faith in
your personal revelations than it is about faith in general. Even Helaman,
because it was not his revelation, thought that a great many of his soldiers
were going to have been slain. But none of them were.
When Helaman
talks about the faith and power of his boys, I always feel so proud of them,
which must be because of his pride in them as he writes. You can feel his love
and awe through his words. I hear the song “rise up, oh men of God” in my head
and want to be braver and stronger because they were so brave and strong. And I
want to teach my boys to be this kind of men.
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