It was months of
near starvation and worry before God spoke peace to their souls. I read an article
yesterday about how sadness is good for us, and it is our struggles that bring
us close to God, so we shouldn’t be afraid of them. Omar and I have been
talking about that a lot this week, too, as Isaiah keeps getting hurt and then
won’t let us help him because he is afraid or care will hurt. He feels like any
pain is the worst possible outcome, but we know that it is not, and have to try
and help him see that. Then last night I had a really vivid dream about being a
missionary and Elder Eyring came to our mission. I know we were doing some time
of service, I am not sure what anymore, but he said that the work moves forward
among the poor and troubled because happy people are not looking for a
solution. I know that we are refined by fire in this life, and I have
personally experienced that change that comes from suffering. When things are
at their worst I pray so hard and sincerely for relief and comfort. It has
never been my experience to have to wait for that comfort to come, to have to
feel like I am walking through my trials alone. Even when my troubles don’t
disappear, the comfort always comes. But here it did not come immediately, and
I am sure those months felt long. I remember when Omar had that experience what
a heavy burden it felt like alone, and how painful it was for him. I don’t know
why sometimes God withholds his assurances. It is so hard to even watch. But I
do trust His perfect goodness, that somehow that pain that He allows is best.
But sometimes best is so very hard.
The idea of trust
has come up for me several times this past week, also. As I prepared my sharing
time lesson for Senior Primary I turned to the Come Follow Me lessons and found
this talk by Carole M. Stephens,
If Ye Love Me, Keep My Commandments. She talks about how trust is a
principle that keeps us on the right path. We have to trust in God’s love, and
Christ’s atonement and trust the promptings of the Holy Ghost. It keeps coming
back to my mind, and was one of the things I shared with the kids yesterday.
And when we were trying to help Isaiah, I had to help him trust me and my love,
so that he would let me care for him in ways that were important, but scared
him. Is faith really an exercise of trust? Probably sometimes.
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